Hooray for Singledom! (I think)

I officially started off the new year with no identifiable attachments. The boy I had been pseudo dating finally decided that our insecure state of noncommittal wasn't working for him. I am still nursing the idea that we were at a power standstill and it was the only option left for him to come out on top. However, I am also aware that my thoughts on the relationship may stem from bitterness at losing my feeling of control. The area of power is particularly seductive to me.

As fate would have it, ending that chapter came just in time for the new year. To celebrate the occasion in grand style my high school friends and I threw a "Hot and Dangerous" themed party. The evening was ruckus filled, and many a plastic cup was wasted. Thankfully we were conservative when it came to photo documenting our trashy attire. When the clock hit midnight the couples paired off and the rest of us grabbed our pots and pans to alert the neighbors.  Now to finish the story I must digress...

One of my high school friends has been recovering from the worst heartbreak I have yet encountered. Since then her boss developed an undying and an unrequited affection toward her. Though she has expressed this disinterest her actions have kept stringing him along. I think she formed a dependency on having him at her heel despite her rational rejection. Needless to say she is in a precarious emotional state that is only intensified by her predisposition.

Now to continue... For New Year's Eve she invited a boy she was interested in to our party. They hooked up at the stroke of midnight and disappeared outside. Quite a time later she ran back into the house sobbing as the door slammed behind her. Apparently along with the Christian faith he'd adopted while fighting alcoholism, came a determination to save himself for marriage. Unfortunately for my friend, this mindset was incompatible with her goals. The combination of emotion, sexual tension and intoxication led to her ascent onto the table while declaring, "I give no fucks!" From this stage she propositioned kisses for all. She made her way around the room (with the exclusion of one boyfriend) and finished with the song "I Kissed a Girl" being blasted... This may be the closest I'll ever come to a full blown orgy. I don't think I have ever felt so sexually attractive in my life.

Awhile later we found my dear friend asleep upon the throne. She realized her work began in a few hours so she called her poor uninvited boss to come fetch her. After crying to him about boy problems for an hour, he took her home and that was the finish to our wild night. She never made it to work in the morning.

I find it tragic the way women and men have such a difficult time finding equality in mutual relationships. One party is almost always disproportionately invested vs the other because their relationships are so dependency based. When on the receiving end, it is difficult to resist the benefits that come so effortlessly. To make matters worse their sacrifices create a power differential which can be used for further gain. Based on my view that we are inherently selfish, this can become a cyclical safety net. In order to battle this recurring problem I encourage everyone to gain some self-respect. Allowing this to happen by either enabling or taking advantage intensifies the issue. For those of you like me who are inclined to play the system: Though there are some convenient perks to your behavior, it is not in your best interest to indulge. There are always hidden costs such as losing the skills needed to have a healthy relationship, ruining the respect you have from others, developing dependence in your own way overtime, fostering resentment in the other party, etc. So my friends be strong and just say no.